Being Single Is Okay.

         For the past couple years of my life, I've always had this idea in my head that life was super boring, unless you had a romantic interest. I may not have admitted it out loud or even to myself, because even then, it seemed like an unhealthy outlook on that aspect of my life.

    After recent experiences, which I won't go into too much personal detail about, I've deeply changed my opinion. I no longer feel depressed if I don't have someone to think about on Valentine's day. I would even go as far as to say the past months have changed my life. In order to tell this story the best possible way I have to start where every good story starts. The beginning.

    In an earlier blog post I told about Teen Bible Quizzing. There was a youth conference that I went to and there, they held field team qualifiers. I was trying my best to stay focused that weekend, but I met an awesome girl. I got to know her over the weekend and I started to develop feelings for her. After the conference was over, we stayed in contact. Eventually, she asked me if I had feelings for her. (I was pretty obvious about it, but I didn't care.) She admitted she liked me back and later she realized she could come to my church camp with my church. I think a good thing to note here, is we were both fourteen, but both of us are very mature and want to mainly be friends till 16, even though it was a little bit more than friends for a while. I was super excited because I was going to get to spend a whole week with her. However, on the second day of camp, she asked if we could be just friends.

    She said that she thought that at the time she was mainly flattered that I liked her and that inspired momentary feelings.

    This crushed me.

    I forgave her immediately for this because it can happen to anyone, but I just- I didn't know what to think. I really wanted to date her in the future because this was the first actual relationship that felt like something more than silly elementary crushes. This felt... real.

    Since then I haven't really talked to her or seen her but we have had some closure about a week after.

    Fast forward to about three weeks ahead. I have mostly come to terms with the fact that she didn't like me. I began to see us more as friends. But anyway, I was traveling to Ohio for Bible Quizzing Nationals. When you are meeting 5 new people every 30 minutes for 6 days, you are bound to think a couple of them are cute or really nice. I even got to know some people better that I already knew a little bit. So over the week I was just really confused with emotions. I was still seeing the person from the conference every now and then and I just got tired of feeling attraction.

    This was about the time when I finally came to the end of being so confused. The thing I've been struggling with for the last 3 months. I decided to just give up. It was no longer necessary.

    Feel attraction and be done with it. Make new friends. Don't get worried about deciding who you want to pursue. God will bring a person into my life that HE intends me to marry, or if he wants me to be single till the day I die, I will be happy. I trust got to worry about that. I wont get impatient or expect him to do it sooner. As Acts 1:7 says, He said to them, "It is not for you to know the times or dates the father has set by his own authority."

    But for now I will wait here and listen to God. It may not line up with my will, but hey, That's Life!